Is this any way to run a business?

That should be the first question asked to anyone involved in big-time college football these days.

Let’s take a look around the SEC, shall we?

LSU presumably owes Brian Kelly $53 million after firing him. This comes just as the Baton Rouge school makes final payments on a $17 million buyout of Ed Orgeron, the former Ole Miss coach. That’s $70 million right there LSU has paid – or will pay – football coaches not to coach. The Tigers got out cheap on Les Miles, the LSU head coach before Orgeron. They only paid Miles a lump sum of $1.5 million not to coach.

And it’s not just LSU. Now let’s look at Florida, which recently fired Billy Napier. Florida must pay Napier more than $21 million not to coach. That includes half the buyout paid immediately and then monthly installments through 2029. That’s not all. Florida reportedly still pays Dan Mullen, the former Mississippi State coach and current UNLV coach, to coach elsewhere. Mullen’s buyout in 2021 was $12 million. He got $6 million immediately and the rest in yearly installments of $1 million, the last of which will be paid in 2027. Jim McIlwain, the Gators coach before Mullen, was paid $7.5 million after his firing. Will Muschamp, fired before McIlwain, was paid $6.3 million over four years. Pretty soon, we are going to be talking about some real money.

So, let’s do. Texas A&M, which fired Jimbo Fisher in 2023  will pay him $7.2 million annually through 2031 for a total buyout of approximately $77 million. That’s a record that will be hard to break.

Funny thing: A&M pays Fisher more not to coach than it pays Mike Elko to coach. At least the Aggies are getting a bigger bang for their buck with Elko, who has his team undefeated and ranked No. 3 nationally. Elko’s contract runs through 2030, at which time the school will still be paying Fisher more than $7 mill at year. Heavens to Betsy, I mean, to Jimbo!!!

Before Fisher, A&M bought out Kevin Sumlin for a mere $10 million. Look, I know they’ve got a lot of oil money in Texas, but does it all go to fired football coaches? I ask because Texas paid Tom Herman $10 million not to coach. Before Herman, Texas paid Charley Strong $10 million not to coach. Before Strong, Texas bought out Mack Brown for $2.75 million. Yes, Texas bought out John Mackovic before hiring Mack Brown for another $1.8 million.

There’s a readily apparent pattern here, which shows that the more recent buyouts are much, much higher than those a decade ago. We can only imagine what they will be like in 2035.

Not to worry, Auburn will probably find out. Auburn just fired former Ole Miss coach Hugh Freeze and must pay him $16 million not to coach. That follows a $15.3 million buyout for Bryan Harsin and a $21 million buyout for Gus Malzahn. There are not that many oil wells in Alabama.

Arkansas? The Razorbacks just fired Sam Pittman and must pay him $8.7 million – not to coach. Before Pittman, Arkansas bought out Chad Morris for $8 million. Before Morris, Arkansas paid Brett Bielema $8 million not to coach. Interesting to note: Bobby Petrino did not get a buyout when Arkansas fired him back in 2012. His contract called for an $18 million payout, but Arkansas didn’t have to pay it because Petrino was fired for cause. (Remember the sordid motorcycle accident/extra-marital affair happening?) And wouldn’t you know it? Petrino is back for an encore performance as the Razorbacks’ interim head coach. Thus far, he is 0-4. You really couldn’t make this stuff up.

Understand, these buyouts aren’t just restricted to head coaches. Every time a head coach is fired, the employer also must buy out most, if not all, his assistants. And sometimes an assistant coach is fired before the head coach. That’s what happened at South Carolina this week after Saturday’s 30-14 loss to Ole Miss. South Carolina head coach Shane Beamer on Monday fired his offensive coordinator, Mike Shula, who was in the first year of a three-year contract. South Carolina now must pay Shula $2 million not to call plays. Shula is no stranger to buyouts. Alabama once paid him $4 million to no longer be its head coach.

This isn’t just an SEC deal. The madness is elsewhere, as well. Ten months after guiding Penn State into the national semifinals, James Franklin was canned by Penn State, which now must pay him a $50 million buyout. Historically, that’s second only to Fisher’s massive buyout at A&M. That’s not all. Oklahoma State, UCLA, Virginia Tech, Stanford, Oregon State, Colorado State and UAB all fired coaches before the 2025 calendar reached November. Most, if not all, will pay significant buyouts.

The good news in Mississippi is that we aren’t looking at any huge football coach buyouts any time soon. Ole Miss probably will have to pony up two kings’ ransoms just to keep Lane Kiffin, who already makes nearly $10 million a year. Mississippi State would be foolish to fire Jeff Lebby, who has engineered a remarkable turn-around in 2025. At Southern Miss, Charles Huff would be the Sun Belt’s coach of the year if the season ended now. With continued success, his services will be in great demand elsewhere.

Besides, state law limits Mississippi’s state-supported schools from offering contracts of more than four years. That law has often been criticized over the years – not from this corner. Fisher’s A&M contract was for 10 years. Franklin’s Penn State contract was for 10 years. So was Kelly’s at LSU. That’s why the buyouts were so high. By law, that can’t happen in Mississippi. You ask me, that’s a good thing.