I have never really understood the expression “one cannot have their cake and eat it too.” I mean, why would you not eat your cake? Are you going to just sit it up and look at it? The expression baffles me, and as a writer I refuse to use it due to how contradictory it is in the first place.
I want my cake and I promise you that I will eat it too. I want to enjoy my life to the fullest. Hence why you won’t find me up there on the list of paper-thin model material. I like my Italian food and I like my ice-cream. There are things I like too much to sacrifice it for the latest diet fad and a few pounds lost. I relish life too much. Do I sometimes look at the numbers on the scale and grimace? Heck yeah, but it doesn’t last long…or maybe only until the next round of my mother’s homemade lasagna.
Honestly, the whole not being able to have our cake and eat it too is just a belief that is handed down to us by society and we adopt it as truth inside us. Maybe without even realizing we have done so. Think about it the next time you see someone really enjoying life and soaking it all in. Does their joy make you upset? Does it trigger some raw emotions like how dare they think they can have their cake and eat it too? Perhaps it is because you have that rooted belief that was handed down to you and you adopted it without even thinking about it. You just remember hearing your mom repeat it to you as a child or your grandfather saying it when he was observing someone over-enjoying life (I mean if over-enjoying life is a thing). Then you adopted it as a core belief without even realizing you had done so.
I remember as a small girl, pulling up to the Lee County Library to check out books (I was a book worm even way back then) and there was a sleek black Lexus parked across the lot. I immediately chimed in that I wanted a car like that when I grew up. My mom, being the practical person she happens to be, reminded me that “luxury was a fantasy.” I adopted the belief right then that it was only a dream to own a luxury car. I didn’t realize it until years later that this belief, adopted way back when I was kid as truth, had hindered me from pursuing certain achievements in my life because I thought they were not meant to be achieved.
I limited myself.
The truth is, my potential is unlimited.
In fact, I test drove a Range Rover this week because it is the next SUV I want to buy. I want my cake and I want to eat it too.
I challenge you this week as you go about your normal daily routines to find where you cast small judgements on people without even realizing you are doing it. Then take those judgements and trace them back to why you feel that is the truth.
Many times, we’ll find that it comes from a deep-rooted belief that we didn’t even know we had. Maybe we just heard it passed down and adopted it as our own somewhere along the way. But we are holding ourselves back with these baseless and untruthful beliefs. If we can find them and weed them out of our garden of life, we can all of a sudden watch our plants in our garden grow bigger and healthier. We aren’t stifling them with some crazy gunk that is not even needed. We are showering them with the belief that if I want my cake and to eat it, by goodness, I am going to do just that.
I had the pleasure of traveling to France earlier this year before the big C word took over. One of the amazing things I learned was that everyone stopped at the local bakery every day and got themselves some goodies. The had cake and they ate it in the slowest, relishing life, enjoying the moment, kind of way.
I was just in awe. They would sip their cappuccino or hot chocolate while taking small bites from their pastries and laughing with friends at the table. It reminded me that life is meant to be enjoyed. It is meant to be taken in and relished. Life is too short to throw the cake away. Geez. Enjoy your life. Take your cake, grab a fork and eat it up!
Until next time…I am going to eat more cake! Are you?