Friends, as my Granny Turner used to say, “What in the cat hair is going on?!”
What is this world coming to?
And I’m not talking about current events in the news!
I’m talking about trying to find a whole chicken to cook!
Pam needed one to make her dressing, so we tear out to town late last nite. She needed a few other things, too — a hundred dollars’ worth, but who’s counting.
Don’t know why I had to go. I was enjoying the quiet after the kids left!
But, I do as I’m told and ride shotgun! (Which ain’t a bad thing to have in your car, the way people drive and act, but that’s another story!)
One store didn’t have any, so we go to another! Didn’t see one there, either, so I saw the butcher guy — you know the one in the white apron, that look like he just field dressed a deer — and I ask him.
He said, “No, we don’t have whole chickens! Got chicken strips, chicken fingers, chicken nuggets, chicken tenderloin, chicken legs, chicken thighs, chicken necks, chicken breast, chicken beaks, and chicken toenails — but don’t have any whole chickens!
Then he said, “Wait, I got chicken halves! I can sew you two of them together, and you can call it a whole chicken!”
I didn’t care for that remark, so I said, “No thanks! When my wife wants a whole chicken to make her famous Walton family recipe chicken and dressing, then that’s what she’ll get!”
He just laughed and said, “Good Luck, that’s a rare bird!”
Well, I’m hard headed and I know where some whole chickens are!
So we head down there at John Barry’s barn!
“Pam hold the light still! No, John Barry ain’t going to catch us! He’s asleep! Quit waving that flashlight around, you gonna scare ’em all off the roost! Yes this one will do fine! Hold the sack open! And No I ain’t climbing back up there just because that one looks fatter! That’s a hoot-owl anyway!”
And life goes on, on Thompson Hill.
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