Should I or should I not? That seems to be the question for people who are considering walking out on a limb. I’m sure you’ve heard this expression before, but in case you haven’t, “out on a limb” is a euphemism for situations that mirrors some sort of risk. At times, taking risks can seem exciting. Yet, risks can also be terrifying. The limb symbolizes the land of the unknown — the land where the comfort zone goes to die. And at the same time, the limb can also be the land where the belief in self can be renewed.
Have you ever had an idea that seemed awesome at first, but somehow you eventually allowed your negative thoughts or the voices of others to penetrate your confidence, until your idea dwindled down to a mere notion in the back of your mind?
If so, you are not alone. I, too, have allowed this to happen once or twice. I had a great idea and decided to share it. But others did not understand my vision, and lacking their approval, I allowed my idea to vanish.
At first, I would get upset with others because they were not excited as I was about my own idea. They would question it to death. This would cause me to second guess myself. Then I would decide not to breathe life into my own idea. Again, I would get upset. But who was at fault? Who was really the object of my anger?
It was me. I was angry for not breathing life into myself. I was letting other people or other distractions such as doubt, low confidence, and fear disengage me from my idea. Do not get me wrong, I do not think that people were intentionally trying to rain on my parade. Yet, I did let their doubt and criticism hold me back. I had to learn throughout a self-discovery process that I did not need other people’s permission or approval to chase my goals.
For me, this epiphany was life changing and freeing at the same time. I started to write my ideas down through a brainstorming process. No ideas were right or wrong; they were just ideas. After engaging in this exercise, I realized that some of my ideas were actually pretty fascinating. I am not saying this to be prideful. I am saying this to be bold and confident. I have come a long way in my personal journey to be able to embrace an attitude of confidence and boldness, and embrace it is exactly what I will do.
I decided that I was not going to walk out on a limb — I was going to break the branches with my ideas. I was going to soar.
Of course, it always feels great to have supporters in your circle. Having a cheer squad can do wonders for the psyche. But gaining the strength to believe in myself and to put my ideas into action felt like wind beneath my wings.
Prudence Hatchett, M.S., M.Ed., NCC, LPC, BC-TMH, ACAS, CCATP, KLSC, is the owner of PH Counseling, LLC and PH Counseling School online.
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