TUPELO – For the first time since its opening in 2008, Barnes and Noble at the Mall at Barnes Crossing has recognized a gnat as its Employee of the Month.
The gnat lives in the upholstered armchairs placed throughout the store. The armchairs also double as comfortable places for customers to sit and peruse potential purchases.
Other employees at the book store were asked their opinions on this historical achievement.
“It’s not that big a deal,” responded one anonymous employee. “The rest of us have already been Employee of the Month. Some of us more than once. It’s a gnat; they live for like 2 weeks. It’ll be dead before the Super Bowl.”
The armchair gnat is very proud of the award.
“Representation is so important, and I couldn’t be more thrilled to be given this recognition,” says the armchair gnat. “It’s not work when you do what you love. And I love biting people.”
Not everyone is as thrilled with the book store’s decision.
“I come here to go over notes with my study group,” says nursing student Emily Kowalcyzk. “We always leave with a greater understanding of nursing AND bites on our ankles.”
The armchair gnat claims that it is simply trying to keep students on the path of diligence.
“I want them to succeed. When I see them getting distracted from their studies, I swoop in to give them a little accountability nibble.”
The gnat claims that keeping a low profile while assuring the customers that it is always nearby is the key to good customer service.
“The customers don’t always see me; I don’t want the them to feel like there’s an employee constantly hovering over them. So I just give them little kisses on their legs without them knowing. But I can tell they really enjoy seeing me, because when I do come out they all wave at me and show me what they’re reading!”
“Correction,” says one frequent patron. “We’re not waving or showing it anything. We’re swatting at it and trying to kill it with our books.”
EDITOR’S NOTE: Before the article could be published, the armchair gnat died of natural causes. It’s was 12 days old.
